In February I read this fabulous book by Chris Cleave called Little Bee about a young girl who escapes with her sister as the only survivors of the hostile raid on their village in Nigeria. Little Bee eventually makes it to England and goes to live with a native Londoner that she met on a beach in Nigeria. The story was beautiful, and heartbreaking, and perfect the way it unfolded.
There was only one problem with Little Bee: it wrecked literature for me.
I have not read any book that even remotely compares to Chris Cleave's masterpiece, and until a week ago I feared that I would be doomed to read books that didn't impact me in any way until I sat down after my shift and Bruce handed me something amazing.
With the responsibility of having to do press releases and outlet calendars, I am one of the first people in the bookshop to see what is coming, as far as author events. So when Bruce put Candy Tan and Sarah Wendell's book, Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches Guide to Romance Novels into my hands I thought that I would read the introduction to become acqauinted with the book enough to appease the authors when they came. But, low and behold, Beyond Heaving Bosoms was the knight in shining armor to rescue me from my slump of so-so books!
Reading the introduction alone made me laugh so hard that I couldn't breathe or see straight for a couple of minutes. Everything that these ladies allude to is not only hilarious, but true. These smart bitches truely know the romance genre, and everything that is wrapped up in its deliciously steamy and verbally bold package.
Needless to say, Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan have quenched my thirst for obscure knowledge, and have touched me in a way that only they would be daring enough to write about.
To shed some light on the awesomeness that is Beyond Heaving Bosoms I will leave an excerpt of the Ten Commandments of Heroine Conduct; enjoy!
"4. Thou shalt not be aware of your beauty. Every villain, sleazy uncle, and otherwise able-bodied male who has ever clapped eyes on thee may make sexual overatures on thee, but thou shalt remain in blissful oblivion.
7. Thy amnesia shalt be sexy and not be complicated by distinctly unsexy side effects such as loss of motor control, speech impediments, loss of cognitive skills, and inability to control bodily functions."